Discerning a Religious Vocation
Theologian Frederick Buechner has written that ‘Vocation is where our greatest passion meets the world’s greatest need.’ Discerning our vocation or discerning God’s dream for us is first of all prayer. Discernment helps us to separate out what may come from God and what may come from self-centered interests or cultural pressures.
Developing practices that teach our mind, body and soul to be more attentive to God’s desires can help with everyday decisions as well as our major life decisions. Our decisions become discernment when we place them in the context of prayer; when we use the values of faith to inform and direct our life choices.
Here are steps that will help you discern a religious vocation as well as become a more discerning person in your everyday life. It is helpful to use a journal to record your reflections.
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Know yourself. Get to know yourself at a deeper level by reflecting on your strengths and limitations; your values and goals, what is important to your, your deepest desires and dreams for your future.
Take a look at the following phrases and complete those that speak to you. Record your thoughts in your journal. Share your reflections with a spiritual director, mentor or trusted friend.
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My greatest strengths are...
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My limitations are…
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I am not interested in...
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The world needs more of...
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The world needs less of...
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I have always wanted to try...
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You would never catch me...
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My hero/heroine is…
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Movies, songs, books, art, experiences that have touched me the most are…
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If I have only one year to live, I would…
Spirit Given Gifts is a great online tool prepared by Rev. David Ewart to help you discover or affirm your spiritual gifts.
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Deepen your relationship with God. Find a
spiritual director, somebody who can help you to grow in
intimacy with this God and to know yourself better. A spiritual director is an excellent companion on your discernment journey. Pray for light from the Holy Spirit.
Reflect on these questions and record your thoughts in your journal. Share your reflections with a spiritual director, mentor or trusted friend.
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How do you pray?
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What are things in your life that lead you to prayer?
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Where in your life do you most experience God? (in your friends, your parents, in nature, music…)
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What is prayer for you?
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Where do you experience silence in your life? Or, do you?
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Reflect on how your idea or image of who God is has changed over the years:
- ~ when you were a child, God was…
- ~ as a teenager, you thought God was…
- ~ now you experience God as…
- ~ how has God’s intervention in your past made you who you are today?
There are many valuable online resources for prayer including Sacred Space, Busted Halo, Centering Prayer and Pray the News.
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Gather information and insight. Read up on religious life and discover the rich variety of religious congregations of Sisters, Priests, Brothers and Nuns. To start, check out
VISION, an online Catholic Religious Vocation Network resource. VISION will link you to communities that match your gifts and interests.
- Write to the communities that interest you.
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Visit the ones you feel called to.
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Build a relationship with the one where you have a sense of ‘coming home’.
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Get involved in its summer or monthly programs. Don’t just talk the talk, walk the walk with them as well.
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Prayerfully weigh the evidence and attend to your feelings. Look at the pros and cons of your options. List all the advantages, the positive results and effects of each option. What attracts you to each alternative? List all the disadvantages, the negative results and effects of each option. What does not attract you to each option?
Pay attention to your feelings throughout the process. Prayerfully ponder the lists seeking patterns of harmony or disharmony within your core. It is not the length of the lists that is important but which reasons resonate with the deepest desires of the person you are. Accept the pattern of harmony, if one emerges. If there is no strong feeling, then come to a decision in faith based on the reasons that carry the most weight with you.
Take a look at the following techniques that can help sort out your options. Choose the technique/s that speak/s to you. Record your thoughts in your journal. Share your reflections with a spiritual director, mentor or trusted friend.
What are those things that are encouraging me to say “YES” to this decision RIGHT NOW? Use the technique called ‘stream of consciousness’ to answer this question. Set a clock for 10 minutes and write without stopping all the reasons you can possibly think of that encourage you to say “YES” to this decision right now. Don’t worry about spelling or if an idea feels silly. The important thing in this exercise is to list all of the reasons to say “YES”. Take note of your feelings as you list your reasons.
What are those things that are keeping me from saying “YES” to this decision RIGHT NOW? Use the technique called ‘stream of consciousness’ to answer this question. Set a clock for 10 minutes and write without stopping all the reasons you can possibly think of that keep you from saying “YES” to this decision right now. Don’t worry about spelling or if an idea feels silly. The important thing in this exercise is to list all of the resistances. Take note of your feelings as you list your resistances.
Spend time in quiet reflection before answering these questions. Although they may seem to be the same question, there is a slight difference. Be specific in describing behaviors when answering. Using three or four specific ways, complete either one of these statements:
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I’ll know this is the right decisions for me because…
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I’ll know this is the right decision for me when…
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Confirmation; experience peace with your decision. Seek confirmation by offering the decision to God asking for peace and inner joy. Look for confirmation from both external and internal sources. External sources may include sensing affirmation from people, circumstances seem to be supportive, etc. Internal confirmation usually includes a deep sense of peace, a real felt compatibility with the choice made, a sense of satisfaction, a time of tranquility sets in, etc. Although there may be some negative responses these do not change your deep convictions about the decision.
“If you are what you are meant to be, you will set the whole world on fire.”
~St. Catherine of Siena, Doctor of the Church, Dominican Mystic (1347-1380)~
Benincasa House of Discernment
"Benincasa", the family name of St. Catherine of Siena, means
house of welcome. Benincasa House of Discernment is a ministry of the Dominican Sisters ~ Grand Rapids. We provide a place and opportunity for single Catholic women (beyond high school age) to experience and share in the Dominican Life of prayer, study, common life and ministry. This live-in experience occurs within the context of a life-giving community of Dominican Sisters ~ Grand Rapids who offer their support as she discerns God’s call and her future life direction. For more information about Benincasa House of Discernment, contact
Sister Kathi Sleziak.Days of Discernment at Marywood
Consider spending a day, weekend or week with us! Take some time to get away for prayer, sharing of meals, learning and living in the community of the Dominican Sisters ~ Grand Rapids. Sister Kathi will help you personalize days of discernment to meet your needs.
During this time, you may want to include a one-day retreat to help you develop prayerful skills for life choices. Learn the steps of the discernment process. Discover your personal way to call upon God when making prayerful decisions. During your time here, we invite you to:
- Tour the campus and meet the Sisters;
- Study the history of the Dominican Sisters ~ Grand Rapids;
- An introduction to Dominican Life, Dominican Saints, the Dominican Charism and Dominican Spirituality;
- An introduction to the Liturgy of the Hours;
- An introduction to contemplation;
- Meet with a spiritual director;
- Eat, pray and enjoy leisure time with the Sisters;
- An introduction to the vows;
- Visit ministry sites in the Grand Rapids area and learn about ministries of the Dominican Sisters in other parts of the world;
- Tour Grand Rapids and the local area;
- Spend time in personal prayer and reflection.
Helpful Reading
Hearing With the Heart:
A Gentle Guide to Discerning God's Will for Your Life by Debra K. Farrington, Jossey-Bass, 2002
What does God wish for you in your life? How do you listen for God’s gracious guidance as you face daily decisions, both big and small? And how do you know that what you are hearing comes from God—and not your ego or simply your own wishful thinking?
Debra Farrington presents a variety of discernment tools in an easy reading, inspiring and thought provoking manner. It can be an indispensable resource for discerning how to proceed at major crossroads and navigate life’s challenges—at work, in relationships, or during crisis situations—and how to truly be partners with God in creating your life.
Learning to Hear With the Heart: 
Meditations for Discerning God's Will by Debra K. Farrington, Jossey-Bass, 2003
Learning to Hear with the Heart is written as a companion for your discernment journey, inviting you to spend thirty days listening for God’s guidance not only for the big questions of your life but for everyday matters as well. Daily readings from Scripture, prayer, stories and questions for reflection encourage you to be a full and joyful participant in discerning the shape and direction of your life and in learning to live closer to God.
VISION: 2009 Catholic Religious Vocation Discernment Guide by National Religious Vocation Conference, 2009
VISION Vocation Guide is a magazine that provides a reliable resource as you discern your life’s calling. Articles on prayer & discernment, religious life, Priests, Sisters, Brothers, Missionaries, and Being Catholic as well as a great number of ads sponsored by religious communities offer a wonderful resource for the discerner.Available FREE online or order your FREE print edition. 
The Meaning of Vocation
by John Paul II
The question of vocation was close to the heart of John Paul II. Texts from addresses and writings of John Paul II regarding God’s call and the meaning of vocation. 42 pages. Available from National Coalition on Church Vocations (item # 2150)
All for Love by Sister Kathy Bryant, RSC
A comprehensive resource for anyone in discernment. Contains sections on: Discernment and God’s Will, Spirituality and Prayer, Discerning a Vocation to Religious Life or Priesthood, and Resources. 224 Pages. Available from National Coalition on Church Vocations (item # 2020)
Called, Formed, Sent
by Richard Rohr, OFM
What does it mean to be called, formed, sent? Questions for study and personal reflection. Resource for all ministries. 76 pages. Available from National Coalition on Church Vocations (item # 1709)
Religious Life & You: The Best of Vision Magazine
Vocation – A Reflection
Pray your Way Through a Vocation Decision (item # 1217)
Are the Vows Still Relevant (item # 1218)
Are You Experiencing a Call? (item # 1219)
Beyond a Bolt from the Blue (item # 1220)
Helpful booklets for individuals or groups. Discernment information from VISION Magazine. Available from National Coalition on Church Vocations
Vocations Anonymous
By Sr Kathy Bryant, RSC
What you need to hear, but frequently don’t know how to ask, regarding the discernment process. Lots of ideas for finding your way, growing in prayer and asking the right questions. Available from National Coalition on Church Vocations (item # 2002)
Religious Life Today: Re-Thinking a Promise
By William Reiser
Let Your Life Speak: Listening for the Voice of Vocation
By Parker J. Palmer, Jossey-Bass, 2000
The author invites us to listen to the inner teacher and follow its leadings toward a sense of meaning and purpose. “Before you tell your life what truths and values you have decided to live up to, let your life tell you what truths you embody, what values you represent.”